I Live With T1D.

Let's talk diabetes.

Sometimes I feel like people use diseases and disabilities as a crutch or as a way to gain sympathy and attention from people. Emphasis on sometimes. Everyone doesn’t…some people live with diseases you would never know they are battling…internally and externally. I don’t want to discredit anyone who is battling any sort of disease or condition, but I do want to give a shout-out to my T1D friends and all we deal with. It is a “hidden” disease. Meaning if you pass us on the sidewalk you wouldn’t notice we have anything wrong with us. But when you walk by us we could be frantically running to a drugstore to buy candy because our blood sugar is 58 and we are close to passing out and being hypoglycemic. Or we could be looking for a bathroom so we can give ourselves insulin because our sugar is 402 and our bodies are going into DKA and close to a coma. I feel like…with diabetes, we can’t complain without being seen as “weak” or “selfish”, because it’s JUST diabetes, ya know? It’s not a stage four cancer, where people talk about how strong you are for dealing with it, and are so “understanding” if you do complain about it. It’s not considered the deadly disease. BUT, what people don’t get is that diabetes CAN be deadly. People die from diabetes every day. Whether it be from being too high and in DKA, or going too low in the middle of the night and never waking up again. It’s a very real possibility, and people who live without diabetes in theirs just don’t seem to grasp that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful I don’t have a form of cancer or something “worse” than diabetes. And my heart aches for those who do. But that also doesn’t mean I have to be happy that I ONLY have diabetes. It’s still rough. I wish people could see the scars. Not just the tiny holes on my fingers from the pricks and not just the small dots on my body from all the needles, but the deeper ones. The scars that won’t fade away. The depression I went through, the tears I cried, the nights I wanted to not wake up from the low, the days I can’t control my sugar, the highs that make me weary, the lows that make me go weak, the daily emotions I go through and just can’t seem to control. The jokes people always throw at me, the “diabeetus” comments, the smile I force even on the hard days. The constant stares and comments I get at the CGM on my arm or the pump on my side. I wish people could see and understand the internal scars a diabetic has, because there will never be a cure for those. Diabetes isn’t about weight, donuts or laziness. It’s about a child injecting themselves 5-7x a day despite their fears. It’s a parent staying up throughout the night watching their child sleep praying their sugar is stable. A teenager eating a snack during class to prevent low glucose while others stare and make comments. It’s someone who just got their diagnosis and their entire world being flipped upside down.

I am strong. I have overcome a hell of a lot. I admire ANYONE who has a disease or any chronic condition. I admire parents who stand side by side of their child fighting it. I admire the friends who stick up for us when someone makes a comment or stares. But more importantly, I admire the fighters who don’t let a diagnosis stop them from being who they are. I admire everyone who fought for me when I wanted to give up because the burnout is REAL.

People say diabetes is the leading cause of blindness, amputations, kidney disease, deterioration blah, blah. I’ve heard it enough. I SAY…diabetes is the leading cause of courage, self-awareness, persistence, maturity, empathy, appreciation, enlightenment, understanding, compassion, bravery, fortitude, substance, personality, strength, daring, grit and guts. Take that and fold it up and put it in your pocket for a while.